Afraid of Getting Older? How to Make Peace with Aging

Does the thought of getting older fill you with dread? Do you know why you’re afraid of aging? How can you make peace with aging so you can welcome each new day with gratitude and joy?

While many people happily celebrate a new beginning on New Year’s Day or turning a year older on their birthday, others don’t feel the same. Every time their birthday comes around or a new year begins marks the passage of time and reminds them that they are getting older, something they don’t like.

Unfortunately, the fear of aging, also known as gerascophobia, can affect the quality of your life. You may obsess about any signs of aging, feel bad about your appearance, and dislike how your life is. Not wanting to accept that you are growing older could make you get stuck in life and in the past because you resist the changes to your body and life.

If you’re having negative feelings about getting old or older, read on for tips on how to make peace with aging. They’ll help you learn to love yourself more, be happy with your life, and look forward to the coming days with a better attitude. But first…

Why You Are Afraid of Getting Older

Anyone can have negative feelings about getting older, even people in their teens. What may vary is what is bringing up those feelings.

So, before we discuss some of the ways you can make peace with aging, let’s start by outlining what causes the fear of growing old.

Some common reasons why people fear aging include;

Fear of your body changing, e.g., getting wrinkles, gaining weight, having grey hair, poor health, etc.
Fear of getting old and dying
Fear of loved ones getting sick or old, and dying
Feeling like you’re running out of time to achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself or that others expect at certain ages
Not being able or allowed to do certain things because of your age
Financial insecurity
Fear of others judging your appearance and achievements
Worries about loneliness in old age
Fear of things changing, the future, or the unknown

How to Make Peace with Aging

Identify the cause(s)

The first step to embracing aging is to determine the cause of your fear of getting older so you can find ways to be okay with this natural progression of life. We have outlined some common reasons why one may feel afraid of aging in the section above. Do some self-reflection and see if any of them apply to you.

Acknowledge your fears

You are not being paranoid.

After identifying the cause(s) of your worries, it is important to acknowledge your fears. The reason you are afraid of getting older is most likely legitimate.

Society glorifies youth and beauty, especially when it comes to women, where both have been used as determinants for their worth for years. People often receive negative comments for showing any signs of aging.

It is also normal to worry about getting old and dying.

Practice gratitude

Getting old is a privilege. A lot of people don’t get the chance to do it. Many people your age and younger than you are already dead. You should be grateful that you’re still here, getting an opportunity to live one more minute, day, or year.

To start making peace with aging, express gratitude for being alive. Also, be thankful for everything your body still allows you to do.

If you’re not worried about yourself, but about your loved ones, such as your parents and grandparents, getting old and dying, be grateful that they’re still here. Spend the precious time you still have with them creating beautiful memories and making every second count.

Consider the positives of aging

You might be focusing only on the downsides of aging. But there are so many positive things that come with each stage of life too.

Make peace with aging by thinking about the positives that accompany growing older. Depending on how old you are, you may enjoy certain benefits of getting older, such as;

Becoming more attractive as your body develops
Getting a job and earning your own money
Living on your own
Growing your career
Making meaningful connections
Gaining wisdom
Becoming more resilient
Becoming more respected
Gaining life experience
Owning property
Having children/grandchildren and seeing them grow up
Your wrinkles tell the story of your life

Let go of expectations

Perhaps the reason why you fear aging has something to do with feeling unaccomplished, like you’re behind on achieving various goals you’re ‘supposed’ to have achieved by certain ages. These time-bound goals could be ones you set for yourself or achievements expected by other people, such as your parents or society.

You’re afraid of aging because you feel like you’re running out of time to meet your own expectations or those of others.

One of the best ways to make peace with aging is to let go of expectations and redefine your goals for your life. Take charge of your life and set SMART personal goals that do not factor in others’ expectations of you. Consider what YOU want for YOUR life.

If you don’t achieve your new goals as fast as you hoped, be compassionate and patient with yourself. Also, be flexible with your personal goals and adjust them if needed. You still have time.

Live at your own pace

Your friends are getting good jobs, getting married, having kids, and owning homes, while your life seems to be at a standstill. People who are younger than you already have things you don’t have yet. The reason you don’t like becoming older may be that you feel like you’re behind on things, and are feeling the pressure to achieve them before you get any older.

Even if things are fine in your life, comparing yourself to others, whether agemates, siblings, or other people, will make you feel dissatisfied with your life. The life dissatisfaction may lead to you taking shortcuts and making wrong life-changing decisions to try to achieve the same things others have sooner.

One of the best ways to make peace with aging is to start living your life at your own pace. Instead of caving to the pressure, slow down and realize that we are all different and we live in different ‘time zones’. Some people may achieve their goals faster and earlier than others, but all of us have the ability to achieve our goals.

Live your life at a pace that aligns with your personal goals and values. No matter how long it takes or what age you will be, what is meant for you will be yours as long as you keep working towards achieving it. Most things have no age cut-off or deadline.

Redefine what beauty means to you

The loss of youthful looks is a major reason why people are afraid of getting old. To make peace with aging, you should redefine what beauty means to you.

You can choose to focus on true beauty because it isn’t skin deep. Instead of focusing on your appearance or other people’s outward looks, place more value on things such as authenticity, personality, behavior, values, and attitude.

Pay attention to what lies beyond the surface of the skin and work on becoming a better human being who associates with other good humans.

Stop looking in the mirror

No, you don’t have to completely stop looking in the mirror. Just reduce the amount of time you spend in front of it.

As signs of aging start to show, some people obsess about the changes on their bodies and spend too much time in front of mirrors staring at their reflection. But doing so can make you overly critical about your appearance, affect your self-confidence, and make you anxious about the new changes your body may show next.

Looking in the mirror less will do wonders for your mental health.

Lead a healthy lifestyle

Aging will change your body in various ways, including getting wrinkles, gaining weight, and having health or fitness issues. Don’t worsen these changes by living as if your body can still snap back easily.

You can make peace with aging and reduce some of its effects by leading a healthy lifestyle.

Look out for your health now and for the future by eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, practicing good personal hygiene, having a skincare routine, practicing self-care, protecting your mental health, and avoiding alcohol, smoking, and other harmful substances or habits.

Embrace the changes

Change is inevitable. As long as you are alive and time continues to pass, many expected and unexpected changes will happen to your body and in your life. Make peace with aging by embracing the changes and adjusting your lifestyle where needed.

As you get older, love your changing body and listen to its needs. For instance, you will need to adopt a healthy lifestyle and use the right skin care products. Also, know your body’s limits when it comes to certain activities. Do not overexert yourself. Know how much your body can take and be kinder to yourself.

When it comes to style, instead of holding onto clothes that no longer fit well, dress for your current body. There are stylish clothes for any age and body type. Wear what makes you look good and feel good about yourself.

As for the changes in your life, such as loved ones dying and other events that happen to you as you get older, embrace change as an inevitable part of life and an opportunity for more life experiences and growth.

Practice affirmations and positive self-talk

We are stuck with ourselves for our entire life, and, unfortunately, we are our biggest critics. However, what you think and tell yourself about yourself influences you the most.

As you get older, you may find yourself criticizing your body’s changes or feeling like a failure for not achieving certain goals. At such moments, one of the best ways to make peace with aging is to practice affirmations and other positive self-talk.

Positive self-talk and affirmations will improve your sense of self-worth, promote self-love, remind you to be more compassionate with yourself, and help in reducing the anxiety about aging and running out of time.

Change your way of thinking about yourself by changing the things you say to yourself about yourself.

Don’t entertain negativity from others

You may be okay with the way you look as you age, but your feelings about yourself can be influenced by the things people say about your appearance. People can be cruel when talking about the way someone looks.

Don’t give negative people the opportunity to criticize your looks and make you feel bad, at least not in your presence or anywhere you can see their judgments. To make peace with aging, you will need to not entertain negativity from others about your appearance.

For instance, cut off judgmental and insensitive people, don’t fish for compliments, and limit social media usage not only to avoid negative comments and posts that make you feel bad about aging but also to avoid comparing yourself to others.

As you get older, you should surround yourself with loving people who accept and love you just the way you are at any stage of your life, who encourage you when you need it, and who give you helpful tips to improve your appearance if asked.

Financially prepare for your future

Maybe you’re afraid of aging because you feel financially unprepared for the future. As you get older, you can no longer live for just today; you have to plan and prepare for the future. It will help reduce the anxiety you feel about having insufficient finances in your later years.

You will feel more prepared for the future and ready to grow older if you get a stable, well-paying job, start saving for retirement and emergencies, get rid of bad money habits, get insurance, and make good investments as early as possible.

Enjoy the current moment

Unless you die young, you can’t avoid aging. Constantly worrying about an inevitable experience is a waste of time. Why not focus on right now and everything that is good about this particular moment?

Make peace with aging by recognizing it is something you can’t control, change, or avoid. And though it is good to prepare for your later years, you also have to enjoy right now.

It is time to start living in the moment and making every second count. You don’t want to have regrets about not living your life to the fullest and not being fully present when doing things because you were too worried about the future.

As you get older, find ways to be happy with your life at the stage you are at. For instance, you should do things that bring you joy, such as your hobbies, quality time with loved ones while you (and they) are still here, activities on your bucket list, and the simple pleasures of life.

Seek help

If you can’t get rid of your negative feelings about aging, it is okay to seek help from a therapist to deal with them. They can help you get to the root cause of your fear of getting older, understand yourself better, and advise on how to cope with your fears.

You may also need to make peace with aging and seek help when you can no longer do certain things for yourself because of your age. Instead of risking your life and health or making mistakes that could cost you a lot, be okay with asking for help from people such as caregivers, family members, healthcare providers, and even strangers.

It’s okay to admit that you can’t do everything by yourself anymore and seek assistance.

Final Thoughts

Time will pass anyway, and aging is a natural consequence of it passing. Why fight it or obsess about growing older? We hope the above tips help you learn how to make peace with aging.

Every day you get to live is a privilege you should be grateful for. If you have negative feelings about getting older, make peace with aging by learning to love yourself at every stage of your life, expressing gratitude, focusing on the positives in various ages, letting go of expectations, and embracing and adapting to the changes that come with getting older.

You can be happy at any age.

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